Baby Scissorhands

The one thing no one tells you about when you're pregnant is how often you're going to have to *try* to trim the baby's fingernails (AKA Talons). Not that this should be a reason to not have a baby, but you should make sure you've penciled in adequate time in your schedule for this activity... at least 5 hours a week should be good.  Yeah, yeah, I know, it's SOOO easy when they're babies and they just fall asleep in your arms and you can trim them while they're sleeping.  That only lasts about 2 months, then you're trying to wrestle them to get them cut, and when you finally get it all done and both you and baby are crying out of frustration, and three hours later you look at their fingers and all the whites have magically grown out again.

Or, you get them all cut and a few hours later, the little one grabs onto your neck skin and squeezes as hard as he can and you get pinched by the sharpened talons. Yes, you swear you got them all cut nicely, so either you missed one or the baby is hiding a nail file in the lining of his jail cell crib mattress.  I guess I need to do contraband searches of his room, although I'm sure our little Andy Dufresne is hiding all his goods behind his Elmo poster.

So, if anyone has any magic tricks for trimming baby nails, please share!  Until then, I'll continue to spend my days fighting with his little fists to keep them short and trying to explain the scratch marks all over my arms and neck.  Yes, the cat did it.  What cat? Yeah...

As for his toenails, I think we'll just start going for his place in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest toenails... But, do yourself a favor, don't go Google "World's Longest Nails" unless you want to be utterly grossed out.

5318008

If you ever owned a calculator, and were a teenager, then you should be very familiar with the number 5318008.  If you don't recall, then type into your calculator and turn it upside down... go ahead, I'll wait a minute.  Ha!  Remember that?  When you thought you were so cool because you could type out the word Boobies on your calculator? (Or, even worse, 7734!)  Those were the days.

What recently got me thinking about this is watching the transition of our little one's eating habits.  I love breastfeeding.  Yes, it was a little bit hard at first and it hurt and he was sometimes annoying, but it's such a special bond that we share that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. It seems like he has grown up so much and even his eating habits have changed.  When he was first born, I pretty much had to try to get him to open his mouth as wide as possible and quickly stick my breast in before he realized what was going on and hope that he took to it.  He quickly got better at keeping his mouth open and slowly started to realize that when the breast came out, it was time to eat!  He's at the point now where as soon as I fold my shirt down he gets super excited and lunges at it with his mouth (or with his hands if he's too far away).  It makes me laugh every time to see how excited he gets.  If I had to eat the same thing all day every day, I think I would get a little bit tired of it, but I guess if you don't know any better, then bring on the milk!  It's no wonder (some) men are so obsessed with boobs.  Our little one has learned at just 5 months that they are his favorite thing in the world, so I guess that's just something he'll carry with him the rest of his life. Watch out ladies!

The Realities of Being a SAHM

My expectations vs. the reality of being a Stay-at-home-mom...

Expectation: Newborns sleep all the time!
Reality: This was true for 1.5 months, after which naps lasted no longer than 30-40 minutes after I spent 20 minutes trying to get him to sleep.  And he woke up very grumpy.  Grumpy baby = miserable mom. *His napping improved drastically around 3 months when he started to suck his fingers.  Yeah, I know it's a hard habit to kick, but we'll deal with it later.  I'm just happy that he is finally sleeping well and so what if he sucks his fingers til he's 30? I'm sure he'll look just as cute doing it then as he does now! :)

Expectation: I'll have SO much time to keep the house clean and get chores done!
Reality: Step 1. Oh, the baby is finally down for a nap, let me check the computer real quick.  Step 2. Oh, it's been 45 minutes and the baby is up again!  Step 3. So much for cleaning up the kitchen. I'll do it during his next nap. Repeat Steps 1-3.  So the dust and clutter builds up until i can't stand it anymore and clean everything in one day.

Expectation: Yay!  I don't have to put makeup on every day!
Reality: My standards as to what outings deem putting on makeup have changed. I'm not one to wear a lot of makeup to begin with, but would usually put a little bit on any time i left the house.  Now, it depends. If I'm just running to the grocery to pick up a few things? Nah.  I won't see anyone I know anyway.  And now, if I put eyeliner on (which i used to wear everyday), you know we're going somewhere special!

I also have new standards for just *how dirty* clothes are.  Babies spit. and drool. and are usually just generally gross, which means my shirts are often covered in spit, drool, and are gross.  Maybe I've become so accustomed to it that I don't even notice it anymore.  I guess when your husband has to ask you "When was the last time you showered?", you know it's time to change the sour-milked stained shirt...

Expectation: I'll become a wonderful cook and have perfect dinners ready every night.
Reality: Ha. I do love to cook, but really find it hard to put the energy into planning meals.  This is something that I can definitely improve on if I put my mind to it, the little one just requires so much more attention than I thought.  And good luck trying to cut up vegetables/prepare a meal with him in a baby carrier strapped to your front. 1. You can't see around him and 2. He wants to grab everything you have in your hand (including the knife).

Expectation: It'll be so much fun to play with the baby!
Reality: This is generally true, but there are times when he just wants to be a grump and there isn't any toy in the world that will distract him from his grumpiness for more than 5 seconds.  Playmat? WAH! Exersaucer?  WAH! Highchair with toys? Throws them all on the floor, then WAH! I'm 98% sure he gets his grumpiness from his father. The other 2% is his grumpiness when he's hungry.  That trait was inherited from my mother :)
 
Expectation: Awe, he'll love to play/sleep in his cute little swing!
Reality: UGH!  Put him in the swing, he's driving me crazy!

Expectation: Being a SAHM is the best job in the world!
Reality: Even though there are days when I want to run away (like, FAR away) when my husband gets home, I wouldn't trade my situation for anything.  Every day, I feel so fortunate that we made the decision years ago that I would stay at home once we had a family.  We've both worked extremely hard to get to this point in our lives and I feel truly blessed to be able watch our little one grow up every day. It is the best (and probably hardest) job I've ever had.

Happy Five Months!

Happy five month birthday little one!  I can hardly believe how much you've changed in such a short period of time.

You are a happy (usually) little boy who loves exploring the world around you.  You're starting to learn to sit up on your own, though you would prefer is someone would hold you so you can stand. You grab anything within reach, but especially if it's mama's hair or daddy's hoodie strings. You still like your activity mat, but you're starting to enjoy standing in your exersaucer.  We've started giving you some food and you seem to like all the fruit, on days when you're not being stubborn and spitting everything back out, that is. You have started to suck on your two fingers on your right hand to deal with stress as well as help you fall asleep.  Just last week, you started sleeping on your left side and now you roll back and forth to both sides at night. We really love it when you roll onto your tummy in the middle of the night and wake up crying.  So far that's only happened once, but I'm sure it will happen plenty more times! I'm so looking forward to seeing all of the changes you make over the next several months.  I know it's only a matter of time before you'll be toddling around the house.